Weekend Exposure 27

?: What are you following

My answer can be found here.

Weekend Exposure 26

?: Where is your heart?

My answer can be found here.

Tired.

A neighbor I have not seen in a few weeks saw me at the bus stop this morning.  She asked how the baby is doing, then told me "Wow! You look really tired!"

Okay, so that's really not a great thing to say to a frazzled mom.  

I was a little affronted, I'll admit.  The thing is, she's right.  I DO look tired.  I AM tired.

But this afternoon I'm feeling a little less so.  Because Big Daddy had a good interview this morning, and regardless of whether this solves our problem of unemployment or not it was nice to have something positive happen.  I didn't realize how clenched I've been lately.  Medication can be a wonderful thing when you really need it, and - in addition to lessening the inexplicable state of depression -  I have literally felt the Zoloft soothing my anxiety. Until the medication began to relieve it, I didn't realize I was even feeling anxiety.  Since the layoff I have been coping almost miraculously well... for me.  However, after that spot of good news today I could honestly feel my shoulders relax as though a weight had been lifted from them.

I haven't been sleeping well.  I fall asleep well enough once I try, but then I wake up constantly during the night with a feeling of sharp anxiety.  It doesn't help that the kids still wake up and climb into bed with us more often than not, or that Milo has started waking in the night for a 2am feeding.  That said, I think my "tired" has as much to do with stress as it does with lack of sleep.  

I thought there was a point in here somewhere when I started writing.  Now that I'm here, it doesn't feel like that really panned out, does it?  Ah, well.  I guess what I'm trying to say is... I'm still here.  I have not abandoned this project, but I have not been in a place to articulate much lately.  I'm coping fairly well, and I'm enjoying lots of snuggles and giggles and kisses with the boys.  My life at the moment is pretty good, even if it probably includes too much chocolate and too little sex.  I'll be back to form eventually; until then, forgive the sporadic posting and general lack of enthusiasm, won't you?  

Weekend Exposure 25

?: What are you giving another chance?

My answer can be found here.

Weekend Exposure 24

?: What is your current distraction?

My answer can be found here.