Today's myth to be busted: "Mothering Balance"
It's dangled out there in front of us as the epitome of "doing it right". Find that balance! The elusive "work-life-mothering" balance.
Allow me to pose to you a radical and revolutionary idea for our time: There Is NO Such Thing As Balance.
Life is not balanced, and whenever I attempt to ponder this mythical "balance" I find that the hours in my day are spent in the planning and pondering instead of the actual living.
Instead of running ourselves ragged attempting to live up to some sort of balance, let's just admit that - most of us? - we muddle through as best we can. Some days we do too much work, some days too much playing with legos and too few dishes. The only balance I expect to achieve is to get to the end of the day and not feel like I've screwed anything up too badly.
So, please, Oprah? Regis and Kelly? GMA Ladies? STOP with the deluge of "experts" telling me how to find Balance. It doesn't exist. Like unicorns or decent laundry stain remover, I believe it's a pretty legend that exists only in the minds of the believers.
I hereby declare that I will no longer concern myself with finding the Balance. I'm going to concentrate on completing the essential tasks of the day and using whatever time is left in whatever way I see fit.
And what do you know, so far it's working out pretty well. Apparently when you stop trying to figure out how to find something and just start Living your life On Purpose... the balance will take care of itself.
*Disclaimer: The above was written by a mother of 3 while holding her six-week-old infant. She got 4 hours of sleep last night. She hasn't finished the laundry but she vacuumed her whole house yesterday, fed her family, packed a school lunch, cleaned the toy room, nursed the baby a dozen or so times, and she may or may not be typing this at her kitchen table while pantless. Which is to say she's doing pretty well in her assessment, and has not wasted a moment of her precious time wondering if she is "balancing" all of her responsibilities and goals well. Later today she plans to go to the playground with her toddler and perhaps lay a new floor in her living room. This is Life: Lived On Purpose, but not necessarily As Planned.
6 comments:
Awesome! Just remember, though, to put your pants on before going to the playground! :)
I think the beauty of balance is that it is so individualistic. If you are enjoying life and getting done what you feel is important in the moment, then you are balanced. Balanced is not perfection or being superhuman and accomplishing it all. Balance is when you feel you are satisfied with your life. And you are...so you don't need ruin the balance contemplating it.
I love the post. As my mom has always said, most of us are just trying to get through the day. If you get through the day, you're doing pretty good. I liked your last sentence, "lived on purpose, but not necessarily as planned." I have come to the conclusion that nothing goes as planned when you have a kid or two or three.
I've learned we can at least balance our diet. A chocolate cookie in each hand works nicely.
Smile! You're dong a terrific job of mothering, so forget the "experts???" who don't know anything about your life -and don't do such a great job of their own.
Wow! I REALLY love this post. It's exactly what I needed to hear right now! Thanks friend!
Amem sista! It is totally a myth, and for some reason I keep trying to "do it all" and "do it all well." Yep - definitely doesn't exist. When I try to keep a "perfect" house - Kami gets ignored. When I try to be the "perfect" mom in teaching her, the house gets ignored. There's no "balance", just an attempt to keep afloat. And I only have one kid (for a few more weeks that is)unlike you with THREE. And besides - having a newborn - I didn't feel even somewhat "balanced" for at least 4 months, so pants or not - if your kids are fed, you are fed and showered on occasion, you're doing great! Love what you named your boy too by the way - so cute!
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