1. Sometimes, when a girl is exhausted and overwhelmed, a bologna and cheese sandwich and an individual-sized box of raisins can somehow make it all seem a little easier.
2. Last night, in the midst of my painfully restless pseudo-slumber, I managed to have a dream. Not your average, run-of-the-mill, vivid pregnant dream; No, this was one of the dreaded "vivid and so disturbing I'm not sure I'll sleep for a week" variety. In it, my distended, pregnant belly had a face. Somehow, the baby's face was ON my belly... so I could see what he looked like, but he was also somehow still inside my belly.... and I kept saying "yes, it's great to see what he looks like but he needs to hurry up and get BORN already!". Somehow, the me in the dream remained undisturbed by the fact that her belly had EYES with lashes, lids, and brows... a nose... a mouth with lips that opened and closed silently... as though this were the most normal thing in the world.
I woke up vowing never to drink gatorade before bed again. I think all those electrolytes did something to my brain.
3. Tuesday is exactly 2 days away. Is it wrong that I am tempted to do jumping jacks for a while, to encourage the kid to start making his downward descent? Don't answer that. YOU haven't been pregnant for so long that you can't remember what it feels like to wear pants without the big stretchy-cotton "smile" on them... and your legs probably don't resemble the whiteness and roundness of the Michelin man's with the added squishyness of the Stay-Puft marshmallow man. Mmmm... marshmallows.
I am so finished being pregnant. So, to my unborn son... please to be getting the hell out of me now. K, thanx.
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