Monday, Monday...

My brain is refusing to entirely wrap itself around the current events of the past week or so. I will do my best to reduce it all down for you - preferably to the consistency of a nice cream sauce with a hint of curry, no?

Because T is a big kid at heart, he couldn't wait until our anniversary on Wednesday to give me my present. Which is really "our" present, as it will get equal use all around. It's a camcorder. A digital one. Is it wrong that it tickles me no end that I may now torment the internet with footage of our cat eating popcorn and Jack putting ants in the garbage can while he says "there you go, little fella"? C'mon, admit it. You're totally curious now. And yes, the cat really does love popcorn and she will not hesitate to steal it right out from under you.

Moving on.... Jack got into the fridge this morning while I was downstairs attempting to drink a cup of coffee. By the time I heard the fridge door open and then close, it was too late. Half a pack of bologna later, I'm now officially calling him "Oscar". And he keeps asking for more. I have explained that eating 6 PIECES OF BOLOGNA is more than a little excessive, and he isn't allowed to help himself from the refrigerator at any rate. He doesn't seem bothered by this, though, and I finally hid the bologna under a pile of sad wilted vegetables in the crisper drawer. Don't doubt that Oscar Myer will be receiving a frothy letter from me one of these days asking WHAT SORT OF CRACK they are including in their recipe.

I had a long chat with my sister yesterday (Hi Shanna-BoNana!) and it was refreshing to realize I could speak so openly with someone I'm related to about all of...*this* (gesticulating madly at the air around me). I'm still learning how to let go of my innate defensiveness, at least enough to build trust relationships outside of T. But if there's anyone who shares my DNA who can do it, I think it's Shan. She hasn't let me down yet.

I also spent some time this weekend thinkng about how to keep myself on target this week. I had a few breakdowns here and there, but I also allowed my thoughts to flow more freely than I have in a long time. I went with my gut and wrote a letter to someone who was not expecting it (Hi Kelly!) and poured out a little of my soul into it. And she caught it in a cup, drank it in, and gave a little of herself to me in return. Seeing yourself reflected off of someone else is always a little surreal, but especially when it's someone you are just meeting. When that person is also eloquent, kind, and overflowing with wisdom... well, it's life-altering. That's the kind of person who can say "hey, it's all going to be okay"- and you don't hesitate before believing them.

And if it's all going to be okay, suddenly soaking in a little sunshine out in the Big Blue Room sounds a little less scary and a lot more peaceful.