Yesterday (which was Monday, for those keeping score at home) Toby got an inexplicable bout of digestive badness resulting in explosive diarrhea. I discovered this when he walked into the family room with a stream of brown running down one leg. It was lovely.
Even MORE lovely, though, was hearing the dog lapping at something in the next room. "Something" turned out to be a puddle of diarrhea that had collected on the floor after escaping the diaper.
That dog has kissed me on the mouth, people. Not that I allow him to do that willingly, but he's 60 pounds of conniving lap-dog and sometimes you just can't dodge fast enough.
So I figured, once all the poopy chaos was cleaned up, we were clear for the rest of the week.
Not so, dear friends.
This morning, on his way to work, Big Daddy got into a car accident. Fortunately, he walked away without injury. Not so fortunate was his trusty jalopy, the 1990 Honda Civic, our beloved "Aqua Man Car". (Jack named the car when Big Daddy first drove its teal gloriousness into the driveway.)
Rest in Peace, Aqua Man.
So if any marketing people from a major auto manufacturer happen by and want to give us a free car for his hour-long commute each way, I'm open to changing our middle name pick to "Chevy" or "Honda". Okay, maybe not really, but I'll put an ad up for you and generally be your corporate love-muffin. Totally a win-win, right?
So, yeah, back in reality-type-land, if anyone needs me I'll be busy perusing the local used car dealerships, crunching some numbers, and possibly stuffing my face with leftover birthday cake. Also possibly calculating the relative street value of my prenatal vitamins. They won't get you high but your hair and nails will be fabulously healthy!
As for you, Tuesday... I'll deal with you later. Maybe you can make it up to me: from now on, any calories consumed on Tuesdays don't count. That would be a good start. I mean, there's an awful lot of cake left.
4 comments:
Sorry to hear about your car, but at least your husband is OK. As for the dog and kid, all I have to say is: EEEWWWWWW!
Gah...hopefully your floors are of the hard variety and not the carpet variety. Cause I've been there, with cream carpet, and it's not fun.
And that sucks about the car. Totally sucks...
RIP Aqua Man...
So, I was trying to explain twitter and following to a friend of mine. As I was going through, your lovely verbal images of your poor sick kid and the dog's interesting taste in excrement came up... I was like, Yeah, that's Twitter!
#3 and a totaled car...I feel for you!!! Individually they suck, but together and on a Monday...brings thoughts of Charlie Brown and his "aaarrrrgghhh" moments. Glad T was able to walk away from the accident. Hang in there!
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