Sunday, November 28, 2004

Just slip a sable under the tree.... [ARCHIVE]

As I was cloistered away upstairs wrapping presents contemplating the origins of the universe, I began to consider several things about Christmas. Jack will be 17 months old this Christmas -- still too young to really get excited and understand the orgy of greed that awaits him.

His big gift this year (and it's a whopper!) is labeled "from Daddy and Mommy". As I stared at the finished product, blue santa paper and its big red bow, I realized that by next year Jack will be old enough to begin to understand the concept of Santa Claus; he will begin his initiation into all the magic that goes along with a big jolly guy in a red suit whose sole purpose in the world is to bring you presents on that one magical night of the year.

As I think back to Christmases past, I remember a few things...things that have suddenly come sharply into focus... things that will become very important by this time next year.

Santa wants you to be good. He's making a list, he's checking it twice, and he's gonna find out if you've been naughty or nice. Santa understands the concept of action and consequence; if you hit your sister and break her doll he may bring you a big lump of coal to remind you that you should be nicer to her. If you tell her she's a tuna-fish-bottom, he may bring you just one My Little Pony instead of the whole Pony Stable Salon that you asked him for.

Santa will not come to your house if you are awake. He's very sneaky that way, and though he got caught by that guy in "Twas the Night Before Christmas", he would never dream of letting a kid get a look at him in action. Put your milk and cookies out, don't forget the apple (or carrot) for rudolph to share with his reindeer buddies, and if you like you can get fancy and sprinkle a little of this Magic Reindeer Food on the lawn to make certain those flying quadripeds find their way to your house... Then proceed directly to your bed. I suggest bringing a copy of the most boring book in the world with you. This will help guarantee a speedy trip to slumberland.

Santa has his own very cool (and VERY different from mom and dad's) wrapping paper. He never, ever, buys the same gift wrap as mom and dad. I suspect he has a whole elf division dedicated solely to the manufacture of his very special gift wrap.

Most important of all, Santa gives the best presents. Mom and Dad always give very practical gifts, like a sweater or an electric toothbrush. This is because Moms and Dads are very practical people, which is good because it means you can always depend on them to take care of you and be there when you really NEED them. Santa knows this, and so Santa is not worried about what you need. No, Santa is dedicated entirely and completely to the thing that your little heart desires most at that moment.

Santa also puts the final touch on the advent calendar, and always leaves a thank you note for the milk and cookies. He sometimes even jostles the christmas village, just a little, when climbing out of the fire place. Santa never forgets to put a sunkist orange in the toe of your stocking.

The world is a very uncertain and, at times, unfair and scary place. At Christmas, however, the rules of the universe bend (including the space-time continuum, allowing Santa to make his quick trans-global route on time), and for one brief moment we can be impractical, inspired people who believe that our wishes really can - and sometimes do - come true. We believe that vertically challenged little people hand-craft toys and wonders just for us, and a benevolent man with questionable fashion sense and high cholesterol lives only to spread joy to children everywhere. We believe that a reindeer's nose lights the night sky and that Santa squeezes his considerable girth down that chimney to unload his bounty from a magical sack.

As I look at my little son and watch him learn, one by one, the universal truths (like socks are slippery on the linoleum floor) I realize how important it is to me that he feels that same sense of wonder and possibility. It will be strange, I think, to sit by and watch my son marvel at the generosity of this stranger we allow into our home every year without question. After all, I'm his mom. I change his diapers, cook his meals, clean his room, wipe his nose, band-aid his ouchies... with nary a thanks.

I look again at the big, bright package with Jack's name on it and realize that next year Santa will be the man of the hour, the one to bask in the glory of making a child's dreams come true... while I will need to do some serious research into a good electric toothbrush, and maybe some orthopedic shoes.

So, please, allow me to say Thank you, Santa, for making so many of my little-girl dreams come true and for all the magic of Christmas...and, from the bottom of my heart, Thanks for the Sweaters, Mom and Dad.

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