One.

I couldn't post about it yesterday. I tried to. I really did! But I couldn't.



But now that the day is past, and it's simply an accepted fact and no longer a cause for me to ingest mass quantities of processed sugars in order to maintain my state of denial... well, it's actually quite okay, after all.

Happy Birthday (one day late) to Toby. We're planning a small celebration for him for next weekend, but we had to mark the actual day as well. And so.. we got a small cake, lit a candle, sang our horribly off-key song, and let him have at it. And have at it he did.



It was an emotional day. One year ago I gave birth to my healthy, 9 pound 7 oz little peanut. It was a painful delivery, not the least of which because I had expected the epidural to sooth the physical torment of the induction as it had with my first delivery. Which it did not.

I followed up the birth with an abscessed tooth, requiring percocet to control the pain while still in the hospital. For good measure, there was the stop at the dentist to have a root canal on the way home from the hospital. Followed by the onset of a depression that crushed my spirit for many many moons. Even I recognize the humor in the improbability of it all. (Tonight on "Mel-O-Drama"! The birth of the baby is complicated by a toothache, a painkiller, and a root canal. Hilarity Ensues!)

In the grand scheme of things, I am choosing to focus on the good. On the smiles, the snuggles, the much-debated choice to co-sleep this time around which allowed me to have my warm, squirmy bundle close to me at all times. The messes, the giggles, and the sparkle in those impossibly huge brown eyes. That sparkle... I have instructed the universe. That sparkle must never, under any circumstances, be allowed to dim.


I know, I know. All the syrupy gushing is giving you the distinct urge to vomit. And I promise to whip the sass back out ASAP. (I said SASS. You and your dirty, dirty mind.)

One year later, here we are. Forging ahead. Literally. And even my inner cynic is, for once, speechless. You see...

Toby took his first steps yesterday.

Happy Birthday, indeed, my little biped.