Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur.**

Somehow or other, I ended up on Gawker. No, really. I swear!

Apparently, my kid is weird. Which is awesome, because that is pretty much the only thing he can plan to inherit from me, seeing as how I already blew his future trust fund on sparkly nail polish and tacky jewelry.

So it starts like this. Yesterday, I post a tongue-in-cheek fluff item on shopping with the kids, and Jack picking out some earrings for me. (I made him put back the ones with skulls, and ended up with big stars instead.) Today, I somehow ended up the poster-child for weird momness.

SO! For the record, and for anyone who is intent on reading too far into anything I may have printed yesterday, here is the Official Stay At Aum Mom Clarification:

1) Jack is three. Picking out jewelry at the store is one step down from helping mom shop for gym socks and only just higher than eating brussel sprounts. It is also way less cool than watching Handy Manny or driving around in his Power Wheels Mustang.

2) The "Lucky Monkey" T-shirt is still awesome, but is really only worn for pajama purposes. What can I say, we're kinky that way. Besides, everyone knows monkeys are funny and laughter is good for the marriage.

3) I <3 the gays. Really. My intention yesterday was really a simple loving poke at my devoutly Mormon mother, who looks heavenward every time I express a non-conservative viewpoint. I think she has to listen to extra hours of Fox News just to wash off my liberal residue after every conversation we have. I'm also pretty sure she had to have a closed confessional with Rush Limbaugh after the gay best man walked her down the aisle at our wedding. But she did give him a hug, risking her status as Mrs. Republican Universe. Because she rules.

4) Mom is currently serving a religious mission in Africa. For the moment this is quite a relief, as she is not currently in range to throw things at me for teasing her. In front of 1,300 strangers who stumbled over here from Gawker and are now wondering WTF?

**"Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound". Because, uh... Yeah. Move it along, nothing to see here.

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