Tuesday, May 01, 2007

More Cheer-Giving Non Sequiturs

* A very productive half-hour of violin practice, wherein I totally kicked ass on the "Pepperoni Pizza" song, which is not really a song at all but it's as close as I get until I learn finger position for real notes. Also, I could totally challenge any developmentally challenged six-year-old on that number and maybe possibly have a snowball's chance of winning.

* An uninterrupted hour at the mall's indoor play area, which included several silly dance moves and a raging game of hide-n-seek

* Black nail polish with a gazillion tiny bits of gold glitter in it. I'm way too old for it, and I don't care. It's fierce, and I'm sporting it like a rock star.

* Earrings with giant stars that are totally tacky and fabulous, and were selected by a very serious Jack. I'll wear them tomorrow. With a totally age-inappropriate t-shirt, like maybe the curious george one that says "lucky monkey". Because everyone should have a lucky monkey, and also everyone should have a Jack to pick out fun jewelry. I'd better draw the line, though, at letting him pick out fabulous handbags for me. We wouldn't want to give him "the gay". Not because there's anything wrong with it, but because he'd insist I take him to a professional for haircuts and would probably also refuse to wear all those elastic-waistband shorts I bought him. Who needs a three-year-old with fashion sense?

* And the last thing making me grin tonight? The mortified expression I'm picturing on my mother's face right now. Don't worry mom, I don't really want Jack to be gay. But only because I'm a completely selfish woman who is unwilling to give an inch on my demands for future grandchildren. I can hope the world would be better suited for gay couples to adopt by then, but I'm not willing to bet on it and risk all those opportunities to make rice crispy treats and let the grandkids stay up past their bedtime. Plus, the poor kid would have no fashion role model to look up to in our house (see above-mentioned references to Curious George t-shirts and age-inappropriate accessories).

And that, my friends, is the sound of a pen as it furiously writes me out of the will. Happy Tuesday!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What's wrong with giving him "the gay"? (Not that you could actually do that. Or wait, maybe you already did...it's genetic, right?) Sounds like the tyke is waaaaay ahead of you on that score anyway. And good for Jack. (Great 'gay" name, BTW.)

PS: That nail polish sounds fabulous!