This will hurt.

If you put a frog in a pot of hot water, it will jump right out. If you put it in cold water and slowly crank up the heat, the frog will sit there until it dies. So I've been told, anyway. I would never perform such an experiment, myself. But the concept is there.

My kids are great sleepers. JT slept in his crib, in his own room, from the first night home from the hospital. This time around, I wanted TM close to me. He was so tiny, so defenseless - not to mention so noisy I was afraid he would wake his older brother if put in the nursery next door. But by 5 or 6 weeks old, TM was sleeping 8 hours at night, broken up with just one feeding after 4 hours, after which he would go right back to sleep. For anyone without kids, let me tell you that this is a new parent's dream.

So what happened? Well, like the poor frog, he slowly began to turn up the heat on me. As close as a week ago, I still would have told you "My baby really is a good sleeper, he just has a bad night here and there."

In the last few days, however, it has dawned on me. Not only does he not sleep long stretches well any more, but by the time I wake up in the morning he has somehow migrated to a spot next to me in the bed. He starts out in his bassinet, but wakes every few hours and settles back down only after I replace his pacifier and give him my hand to hold. Eventually, in my zombie-like state of exhaustion, I move him next to me in bed - where he snuggles up to me and finally falls asleep for a stretch of more than 2 hours. And then I get some sleep.

He is a very clingy baby by nature, something JT never has been. If one of my hands get anywhere near him, he grabs for it, pressing it to his chest with both tiny pink hands as though I might snatch it away. It's simultaneously heart-melting and terrifying.

Today I realized he hasn't taken a daytime nap longer than an hour or so in at least a week. He may take only 2 or 3 of these naps all day. My baby is exhausted, and his mommy is not far behind. So, after I got JT down for his "quiet time" (which may or may not involve sleep, it depends on the day) I nursed TM until his tummy was full and his eyes were half-closed. I laid him down in his bassinet and covered him with his favorite blanket. And then I walked out of the room.

After 4 minutes he started screaming. By 10 minutes he was at a full-fledged wail. By 20 minutes I was headed upstairs. I got halfway up when he suddenly went quiet. I waited. Counted to 30. Tiptoed into the room. He startled a little, opened his eyes, then slowly closed them again and drifted off as I watched him.

Progress. Or so I thought until he woke up about 2 minutes ago. He started crying in a sad, half-hearted kind of way. It has built to another scream.

He's safe, he's not hungry, his diaper is clean, and he doesn't have gas. Suddenly, my 2 and a half years of parenting experience leave me totally unprepared to deal with a baby who WILL NOT SLEEP.

I've decided to give him 5 minutes more to try to fall back asleep on his own. This may be a good time to start looking for a book on what kind of therapy will help him deal with the abandonment issues I am currently giving him.

But I'll probably use the time to tear the house apart in search of something with lots of sugar and no nutritional value.

I really need to locate a more constructive coping mechanism.