Lied. SOOOO lied.So, instead, allow me to dazzle you with these photos of my grand protector and very hairy winter blanket.
You lookin' at me?In spite of my mother's fears that he will someday go all disgruntled postal-worker on us and, say, eat one of the children, he is in fact a giant ball of needy, needy love. In his mind, he is perfectly welcome to help himself to your dinner and then curl up on your lap like a dog one-third his size.
55 pounds of pure muscle wrapped around a solid, angular frame is not particularly comfortable across one's lap. Especially with a bony elbow digging into your stomach. But what he lacks in padding, he more than makes up for in adoring looks and very slimy kisses. Also, he scares the crap out of door-to-door salespeople, which more than pulls his weight around here so far as I am concerned.
I can haz snugglz now?So he's not quite as good for snuggling as Big Daddy T, but he'll do in a pinch... and he does like to watch Ugly Betty as much as I do. What more could a girl ask for in a four-legged companion? -- Unless it's wishing that he would quit with the chewing already. There's nothing quite as unpleasant as the sudden realization that a) the dog has been unnaturally quiet for the last 10 minutes and b) you left a dirty diaper in the playroom after a spot-change. These two circumstances can only lead to disaster... and a firm resolution not to let the dog lick your face for a while.
I regret nothing! ATTICAAAAA!
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