It's Oh So Quiet, It's Oh So Still

Today was a rough day. I thought about my Gram most of the day, thought about not being at the funeral, and pondering what that means to me.

Fortunately, I suppose, I had my second session with the new therapist today. She wants to see me again in a week, instead of our usual two week interim. Apparently I have a lot to say. Who knew?

But some good things happened today, too.

The checkout girl at the 7-11 (who looked at least 40) was surprised that I'm older than she is. She looks old for her age (which is less than my age, but I don't know the exact age) and it appears I look young for my age. She thought I was 19. I was irrationally pleased by this. I'll be 29 in April, by the way.

My neighbor/friend (with whom things have been somewhat tense since we butted heads over the HOA and various and sundries) stopped by tonight with flowers and treats to cheer me up when she heard my Gram died. I cried. And I realized I am maybe ready to see if at leaset a modicum of the friendship can't be salvaged. She opened the door, and I'm tentatively ready to walk through it. A girl can never have too many friends.

I got most of the rest of the interior Christmas decorations up today. The house looks frickin' awesome, if I do say so myself.... and as I sit here in the glow of the Christmas tree lights, pondering pain medication for this stupid back and stupid leg, I can't help but wonder if maybe the holiday spirit will creep up on my in spite of myself. I could use a little holiday cheer.

Also? Apparently I could use more therapy.

You know you're in a bad way when your analyst gently suggests you should come back... like.. sooner rather than later. But with Toby asleep on my lap through the session today, I felt like I finally started opening up. Finally started letting loose all the miscellaneous "stuff" that I have to address before I can really figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

I'm venturing into deep waters here, y'all. And I better hurry and post this sucker, because it's one minute to midnight. Rest assured, I'll be back tomorrow with something witty and lighthearted.

Like a gentle belch to let you know my frothy spirit is still intact.

Try and keep your excitement under control.