The Internet Ate My Baby.

The internet did not actually eat my baby. But he is now on streaming internet video.

This morning I got Toby up. I changed his soggy diaper. I dressed him.

And then? He saw a toy bird and began flapping like it was a nervous tick, all the while screaming "FIE! FIE!" Which, while it sounded quite Shakespearean at the time, is actually just toddler-speak for "fly".

I don't know why this bowled me over, except it's the first time I've actually seen him put a physical concept (birds. they fly.) with an inanimate representation of an object (hello fake parrot from the pirate costume!) and attempted to demonstrate to his mother, who is clearly too thick in the head to realize this on her own. Honestly, he was all "Like this, woman - Have you not been paying attention?"

Of course, I had to attempt to recreate it on film. And quickly, so as to get it online for his father to view before he gets onto an airplane in 8 hours. (8 hours!) It definitely lost something in the translation, as he lost all toddler superiority the second the camera came out and immediately became a very tiny circus performer.

(Sidebar: For instant circus-related giggles, check out Alice's post at finslippy last night. I'm still snorting into my latte.)

And 22 hours after Big Daddy T's flight takes off, he will be home, and there shall be much rejoicing. Oh but fie, FIE!, that the house should be such a disaster - and me but a slave to the machinations of my own mind, which will torment unceasingly with the slings and arrows of wifely guilt should I not but bend to the cleaning of it.**

**Quite possibly the worst attempt to complain about housecleaning in Elizabethan tongue ever. But hey, how many people can even say that they have tried? Also, it allowed me to use the whole "fie, fie" thing and bring it back in, full circle. At least when I go off the reservation I commit to it, people. As evidenced by my incredibly dry, pubescent-boy-like voice on this video clip. What can I say - it was before my coffee. The dry air is not kind to my vocal cords.

Just be glad I did not sing.

And now, with no further ado, behold and adieu....
(Weird mood today. Honestly.)

Fly Away Little Bird from Melkist on Vimeo.